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MyTeenageFairytale 31, Female, United Kingdom - 11 entries

Sep 2007
6:09 PM BST

Well, this is my first entry!!

I don't know if anyone is actually reading this ... but I've had fun trying this new thing out .. so it doesn't bother me if noone does or not.

I suppose I'm just living the typical teenage life really! .. in my mind it goes abit like this ..

Boys

Exams

Boys

Friends

Boys

Appearance

Boys

chocolate!!

But then again .. doesn't every other teenagers!

I would say my teen years have been that tough, well not compared to other peoples! .. but last year I got myself in with the wrong crowd and had threatens to be beaten up and stuffs! .. that wasn't fun! .. and then I got aload more crap from other people because I cheated on 'Tom' (my present boyfriend at the time) .. i wasn't liked much after that! .. and I had all sorts of rumours going round about me. I lost alot of my friends through that.

But now .. its a new school year, and everything is back on track! .. well all my friends and school work is getting on alot better!! ... but the boys side of things ... well .. thats not too good!!!

You see last year, there was this boy I was absoulty crazy about!! .. head over heels about!! .. which was kind of bad as I had some other boyfriend at the time.. 'Jamie'.

Jamie could clearly see that I liked this guy ...'Ryan England' ... and decided he didn't want to be with me whilst I liked someone else .. which is fair enough really.

Anyway a year and another boyfriend later, I was single again! .. I still liked Ryan (alot) but what could I do? .. i knew for a fact that he didn't like me! We had always been friends though.

... until one day ... I went to a party (cesca's) .. and Ryan just happened to be there. We were sat on the trampoline outside together with every1 else just laughing and chattting, and I noticed the way he kept hugging me and smiling at me! .. which made me very happy!! .. at abut 9:30ish .. its started to get cold, and we all went in to sing happy birthday to Cesca. Ryan came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. I turned around to look at him ... and .. yeeh .. we had a loongg (lush) romantic kiss!!! .. reallyy wasn't expected at all! lol .. but I'm not complainning! .. and anyways after that we became an item .. and we were together a long time. I actually made myself think that he was the one! He was the one that I fancied the pants off, and I got him! .. who else could I possibly want more?! ...

Until one day, I realised I couldn't look him in the eye anymore and tell him that I Loved him, I felt like I was lying to him!! .. I got myself soo confused!! .. I didn't understand!!! I decided it would be best for both of us to go on a break whilst I got my head sorted out!! ... anyways .. later on that week I soon realised that was one BIIGGGG mistake!! .. and me being my foolish self, didn't even think about how this may have affected Ryan!! .. he thought I didn't love him anymore .. which wasn't totally true! .. I still reaally liked him!!! ..

Anyway, a week later he asked me to meet him down the park because there was something he needed to tell me..... and yes, you've guessed it. He wanted to break up with me. (for good) .. I didn't understand at first! .. and instead of crying, and just went speachless. I couldn't say anything!! .... it felt like someone had just shoved an iron pole down my throat!! .... I tried to make out that I felt the same way about the decision, and that i was totally fine with it all.. (which i really wasn't!!!!!)

I couldn't understand .. and 5 days on ... I still don't ... I know I still love him!! .. but I don't know how he feels back anymore!! .. hes still texting mee .... LOADS! .. which makes things even more confusing!!

AHHH I NEED TO MAKE UP MY MIND OF WHAT I'M GOING TO DOO!!!!

HEEELPPPP!!

Tags: Teenage life

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